I have had an aha moment at the grand old age of 45! Now I want to make it clear that I am not a big drinker, I do not drink in the week, and have lager at the weekend if I do have a drink, I’m not a whisky, hard liquor kind of girl!
So, I have been thinking how holidays should be relaxing and rejuvenating, to have a pause from life and recharge.
I realised that somewhere along the line, well from the moment I was in my late teens, this has not been the case, and the idea of holidays has been blurred. My adult holidays started with the girls, and I do not regret one minute of them, we were young and wild, lived and laughed hard. I will NOT be blogging about these!
However, over time, the connection between holidays and alcohol developed, a big part of holidays became about having a drink most days, a beer round the pool, some more at nights. I realised that I was coming back from holidays knackered and run down. A beer every day, not a lot, but just a few, will weaken the immune system, lessen the quality and depth of sleep and I know for me I do less physical activity, and then don’t feel as good , eat rubbish food, turn to caffeine and then into a viscous cycle.
To me, I equated a beer that first sip with relaxation, with stopping. I have changed that connection now, my breath, sitting in nature, seeing my children run around the beach, paddle, just stopping life, having the space to read a book and eat out, that is relaxing. Not a drink that is actually a sedative. I find it worrying now and in hindsight, scary that I have been in so many situations in effect sedated!
I have observed how alcohol dampens me energetically and emotionally the next day, (alcohol is a depressant), I don’t feel good, as whole or as present as I would like to. I am not even going into the physical downsides of drinking in this blog, I will leave that to the specialists, its enough to say that we all know its not conducive to good health!)
I trained to be a Danielle La Porte Desire Map Facilitator a few years ago, the Desire Map is an amazing view of life, and I recommend that everyone reads that book, at its core is living life around how you want to feel, as opposed to how you have been think you should live, what you should do as opposed to family and societies rules.
I want to feel alive, present, to be able to make the most of each moment, not hanging over, or queasy, I want to be awake! I want to see deeply, to be recharged and show up as the best version of myself for me, my children, my husband, friends, family, my doTERRA sisters and brothers, students, teachers and doTERRA customers and tribe. A the core of it, alcohol isn’t doing that for me anymore. This has been a gradually thought process over the last few months. I want to say that this is my decision for me, and I do not judge or think that everyone should do this! I am concerned about myself and my life! What you do is your concern not mine.
As I type, I am travelling down to Cornwall to trial this. I am prepared, I love and I mean love the taste of lager, especially when it is chilled to perfection, it brings me joy. So I have ordered some alcohol free lager to chill and enjoy. I am excited, it feels like an experiment, like a coming back home to me, it feels right, but I have never done this before.
It also feels like a little like a rebellion, and also scary. You see, I have been known in the past as a party animal, the life and soul of parties, the one who is good fun, who has the dance off. It has become a label.
What will happen now this label is being taken off, will people still like me if I don’t drink? Will I still enjoy parties and socialising?
Will I feel free enough to dance wildly and with joy at a party without a drink? I will report back. I am not saying I will never drink again, what I am consciously choosing to do is not drink around my children any more, to be with them fully, to contribute to my health so I can be with them, to not automatically drink when I go out, to think first, to be more conscious to drink a lot less at other times if at all. Right now, the thought of not drinking alcohol feels amazing, but I know thoughts, feelings emotions change all the time! I a a realist!
I love life, like really love it, the ups and downs, I love it deeply. It is so precious and fragile and I just feel in my heart and gut that this is what I need to investigate and play with now.
All change is scary, this made me feel uncomfortable for a few days as I was contemplating whether it was something I want to do, and now I just feel excited, it feels right and I know it will add joy to our time away. I just need to re find a part of me that I might have lost a bit, and given some of my power away to a social concept that I brought into.
I would love to know your thoughts and experiments, please join in and comment in the blog. I love to see all sides of all stories, so I can ponder all viewpoints and that helps me find my centred truth. I also love to trigger that thought process in you, so you can find your truth and question always what your families stories have taught you and the very world that you grew up in. Question always, and always be open to change and to grow.
Wishing you all a beautiful summer holiday whether you have an alcohol free lager or a full alcohol larger.
Sending lots of love Karen